p.s. will you marry me?

I think this guy is stretching himself some kind of metaphor…or undergarment?

Hi if you made me into your pantyhose what color pair would you make me into please and after you tell me what color I will fully explain what I am getting at and what this entails and it isnt about sex I promise.

It keeps going, but it only gets more incoherent. Confession: For some reason I felt sorry for this guy and felt compelled to give him some advice rather than ignore him. Me:

I have no clue what you’re getting at but you’re young and seem earnest so I thought I’d give you the benefit of a little feedback: try another tactic with the next woman you contact. Tell her what you like about her profile and/or what you think you have in common. Ask her a question about herself based on her profile.

Good luck out there.

Him:

Do you know what pantyhose are ?

Me:

I do. Unless you are talking about something other than the article of clothing. In any case, I was just trying to tell you in a nice way that I found your message off-putting and if you are not having success on this site, messages like that may be why. You can take or leave the advice. I also was trying to let you know that I am not interested. I wish you the best of luck in your search.

Then he deleted his account.

Here’s another losing strategy. Referring to a hobby I describe being passionate about in my profile, another guy writes

lol ur so funny

Oh, yeah? Well I think your football team is funny, too. And your favorite beer. And your car, lol!