Ulterior Motives

05 Jan 2013 1 Comment

by okmatch in Deal Breakers, No thanks, You know your date is crazy when... Tags: , , , , , ,

The first time he mentioned the program I said, mostly joking, “That sounds like a cult.” I think it was the name of the method or the idea that a five day course could have cured him of his work stress that made me suspicious. Or it could have been his oddly calm demeanor and long-lashed blue eyes.

He laughed and said that if I looked it up online a lot of people call it a cult, but it’s not.

For the most part, it was a pretty normal conversation for a first date, though slightly boring and no chemistry, despite his good looks and the fact that on paper he seemed like a good match. I wondered if I should give him longer to become interesting. Then he mentioned his libertarian leanings. Oh, well, I thought. Not a match, after all.

Not having anywhere else to be tonight, I made the argument that it is both compassionate and fiscally responsible to take care of the members of society who cannot take care of themselves. His response: He hasn’t thought about it enough to come up with any solutions. This from a guy with a graduate degree in Engineering? He also feels like people should be pushed to reach their highest potential and if we give them handouts, they won’t even realize what they could succeed in doing. At the time, I thought this was just the typical Libertarian dogma.

The program he found so helpful came up at least two more times in our hour-long date. Then he had to leave early to take a phone call–from a member of the program. As we stood to leave, he invited me to an introductory program in two weeks.

Of course I looked up the group online when I got home. The first Google result was an article in a regional paper comparing the charismatic leader of the group to David Koresh. The lengthy piece detailed various lawsuits against the businessman who attracts a large following, some of whom were pressured to satisfy his sexual needs and feared leaving the cult. Yes, all the bad cult stuff you read about it. That’s the program this guy tried to get me to join.

So that was my Friday night: date with a guy who tried to recruit me into a cult. Makes me nostalgic for dates who just want to get into my pants.

:p

29 Nov 2012 Leave a comment

by okmatch in Disturbing Text Messages, No thanks, You know your date is crazy when... Tags: , , , , ,

Update on Date Sucked:

So, I didn’t respond to his 🙂.

His previous message said “Have a great Christmas.” Sure, that’s more polite than “Have a nice life” but with Christmas a month away, it’s definitely a blow off line. As in, don’t expect to hear from me before Christmas…or ever.

In that context, what exactly does the smile mean?

“Just kidding about never wanting to see you again. I’m having another mood swing and have decided I can’t live without you.”

Or maybe:

“Let’s be friends. I don’t have anything to say so I’ll just grin at you.”

I realize, if I continue a conversation with mood swing sober guy, I’m definitely the crazy one. I ignore the smile text.

The next day, he texts :p

Some possible translations:

“In elementary school, when I liked a girl, I stuck my tongue out at her. It totally worked!”

“Wanna have sex?”

“Words fail me. I am awed by your beauty and grace, your cool responses to my manic highs and inexplicable lows. When I said I wasn’t ready for a relationship, that was just fear talking. Now I’m ready to be brave and pursue a meaningful relationship. Are you willing to give me a third chance?”

“You…complete…me.”

Date sucked

27 Nov 2012 Leave a comment

by okmatch in Disturbing Text Messages, No thanks, You know your date is crazy when... Tags: , , , ,

The first thing he told me was that he was six years sober but he wanted to buy me a drink. What exactly was I thinking? I don’t know. He was cute and earnest and I was bored. At the end of the night there was some very nice kissing, and some annoyingly persistent attempts to get me to take him home “just to cuddle” and to spend the next day together.

The next day, we exchange the following texts:

There’s a pause between my two messages when I considered how obnoxious the first might have sounded, especially considering I had a date myself the next day. There’s no pause before my next text:

There’s a space of an hour or two between his apology and his “date sucked” message. I didn’t respond. Another half hour or so later, he wants to come over. Later:

At this point I’m already thinking I oughtn’t see this guy again. He’s between fawning all over me and cold. But we flirt some more that night. He can’t stand to be without me, blah blah blah. The next morning:


Oh, but it’s not over yet. The next day (today) I get another message from him–just a smile. I contemplate sending back just a question mark or even asking if he means that as just friends or what. Or just responding so I can finally be the one to dump him. But then I decide not to mess with crazy.