Part of an email from a man on Match:
You’re well spoken and very well educated which places you above most. Truthfully, the only part that concerns me a bit is the door hasn’t been completely shut on your marriage. I think any guy worth your attention might give pause because of that. You seem like a supremely cool person though.
The tone of his message was as if I’d contacted him and he was saying thanks, but no thanks. Except that he’d initiated contact. So his opening gambit boils down to I‘m not so sure about you?
On the other hand, he did have a point. I wrote back:
I understand your reservations about the “separated” status. And yes, there is a part of me that worries about the men who don’t find it in the least problematic. (Kind of reminds me of the old Woody Allen line, “I wouldn’t want to be a part of any club that would have me as a member”) But the door is actually firmly closed on my marriage. We went through mediation–it is uncontested–so I am just waiting for the judge to sign off on the agreement. I think it should be finalized in a couple of weeks.
Then I never heard from the guy again.
The mediator emailed me today to say the judge had signed our divorce papers, which I guess makes me officially divorced. I find the whole “divorce party” mentality (complete with cakes) in extremely poor taste, but I can’t help feeling happy and curious. Will I attract a different crowd with my new status? I changed it on Match and JDate but cannot even find the place where I might’ve mentioned it on Cupid. Maybe single and married are the only options?
I get lots of messages on Match and Cupid, but JDate has yielded very few contacts. I was wondering if it was the separated status. Or just my profile in general. Or there aren’t that many people on JDate who live within my search radius.
And now I wait for the results.
p.s. will you marry me? 